NO NO NO ...Is What We Feel YES Is What We Say?

Women what is wrong with saying NO? We always seem to have defend the simple decision to not doing something. It is a learned behavior as it is not instinct to feel one way and act another or respond against the natural grain. So why do we do it?

Studies show that about 75% of women have a difficult time saying NO. It even extended to telling little white lies. The key reasoning behind this is that the simple fact is people want to stay connected to other people even in the worst unhealthy ways.We don't want to reject people, We don't want people to think poorly of us, so what we really are doing is managing what others think of us??? What? A vicious cycle of never ending guilt-ridden, embarrassment, awkwardness in the that moment when someone asks the NO question. In that one instance we don't fully understand the emotional intensity of our feelings and emotional tension. Most the time the pressure is to great and we give in with a yes.

The truth is NO is liberating and it is a necessary tool in maintaining balance and harmony in one's life, be it the mind, body or spirit. All that giving in and sacrificing for others illusions takes a toll on every aspect of our human condition. The desire to stay connected to others, means disconnecting with our selves in most cases. So the first thing one must do truly be in tune with oneself and know when to deviate from social graces, and self sacrifices to understand that saying NO is a viable option.

Here are four  times one should stop and quiet and the inner desire to please others and instead listen to makes you happy. PERIOD!!!!!!!

NEED A LITTLE SPACE - Skip some social outings like Happy hour, or girls night out, perhaps one is engaged in many hobbies and classes and social meetings. Let one or two go, it will not fall apart if one does not show up. One is not the indispensable.

FEELING PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED- Take the night or day off. Shift your priorities from the  routine get out of the same old same old and follow your FEELINGS> that GUT INSTINCT.

CAN ONE HEAR ONES' THOUGHTS- CREATE YOUR "CAVE" "SANCTUARY"- When one's thoughts are jumbled and taking control or out of control the best thing to do is RETREAT that is a calming and soothing word or at least it should be. It is not meant to be shameful or cowardly but enlightening as to understand that ONE NEEDS PEACE AND QUIET. Escape with a good book, a favorite TV show. perhaps a meditation to relieve stress, and quiet the mind.

NOT IN THE MOOD-JUST SAY NO- When one says no somehow there needs to be circumstantial reason behind the answer. Justification on the part of the one who is saying NO. There is only one true agenda and that is the agenda we have with ourselves. find your comfort zone and relax. Give yourself permission to stay NO without explanation or justification just a simple graceful No thank you, maybe next time.

Now these are very simple and easy times to take notice it is a good beginning to practice the art of saying NO. We live in a 24/7 world with lists, and chores, obligations, and on and on and while it all needs to be handled and taken care of to the one's best ability, it is also so very important to realize that one's self is the most important consideration and obligation to handle in the moment of the 24/7 hustle and bustle.

Take a test see how many times it comes up in a 24 period of you wanting to say NO, but you said yes you might just be surprised at how YES YES YES comes out way more than NO.

Namste my world tribe.